Lighthouses Don’t Float.

Lighthouses Don’t Float.

  • March 17, 2016

A simple fact worth remembering: Lighthouses don’t float. We all know that, yet we don’t always act like it. When a single lighthouse shines out to sea at night, countless vessels can navigate safely. (Daisaku Ikeda) It took me a long time to truly understand this quote, and to put it…

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In your dance of life, is your shadow leading?

In your dance of life, is your shadow leading?

  • January 12, 2015

I’m watching Fred Astaire effortlessly tapping away with an unusual dance partner: his own shadow. Who is leading? In the famous scene from the movie Swing Time, the incomparable Fred commands the dance floor, with a triplicate version of his oversized shadow following his lead. About halfway through the sequence,…

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No unpleasant memories left behind?

No unpleasant memories left behind?

  • October 26, 2014

No man left behind. No child left behind. No unpleasant memories left behind? We often hang on to memories of awful past events way longer than necessary. Brain science tells us that the key to remembering things is repetition. Information we hear over and over again becomes engrained in our mind….

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May we all be inscribed in the Book of Peace.

May we all be inscribed in the Book of Peace.

  • September 24, 2014

Imagine there is a Book of Peace. It determines who gets to live in harmony. Would you like to be inscribed in it? Who do you think is the author? Set aside, just for the next few minutes, any beliefs you may hold about higher powers, master plans for each…

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Don’t touch my halo!

Don’t touch my halo!

  • June 28, 2014

There are very few saints in conflict situations. Nonetheless, too many people are stubbornly wearing a halo. ‘I didn’t do anything wrong. This is all your fault.’ ‘No, you’re the reason we’re in this mess. My conscience is clear.’ People in conflict are very good at seeing the other person’s…

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Writing a different conflict story.

Writing a different conflict story.

  • June 8, 2014

Meet the helpless victim and the villain. They’re in every conflict story.  Now let’s edit. When people talk about a conflict, their stories follow a remarkably predictable pattern: Poor me. He/she is so [insert unflattering description of the other person here]. And there is nothing I can do about it. In…

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Pack up your conflicts and go to the beach.

Pack up your conflicts and go to the beach.

  • April 16, 2014

When I need to detox my mind and soul, I pull out my favorite conflict resolution tool: I go to the beach. One of the easiest conversations in my family is about potential destinations for a short get-away. Ten times out of eleven, the decision is unanimous: Let’s go to…

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