No unpleasant memories left behind?

No unpleasant memories left behind?

  • October 26, 2014

No man left behind. No child left behind. No unpleasant memories left behind? We often hang on to memories of awful past events way longer than necessary. Brain science tells us that the key to remembering things is repetition. Information we hear over and over again becomes engrained in our mind….

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May we all be inscribed in the Book of Peace.

May we all be inscribed in the Book of Peace.

  • September 24, 2014

Imagine there is a Book of Peace. It determines who gets to live in harmony. Would you like to be inscribed in it? Who do you think is the author? Set aside, just for the next few minutes, any beliefs you may hold about higher powers, master plans for each…

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Writing a different conflict story.

Writing a different conflict story.

  • June 8, 2014

Meet the helpless victim and the villain. They’re in every conflict story.  Now let’s edit. When people talk about a conflict, their stories follow a remarkably predictable pattern: Poor me. He/she is so [insert unflattering description of the other person here]. And there is nothing I can do about it. In…

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Got Dragon Breath?

Got Dragon Breath?

  • March 1, 2014

Are you regularly setting people’s ears on fire when you talk? Hold your dragon breath, please. One of my favorite cartoons as a kid growing up in Austria was the story of Grisu, the little dragon. His dream was to become … a fireman. There was only one little problem:…

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Bow.  Learn.  Repeat.

Bow. Learn. Repeat.

  • January 15, 2014

In my martial arts journey, I have learned countless important life lessons.  Some basic and obvious, some rather complex and subtle.  What they all have in common is that I keep learning them, over and over again.  I’m never “done” – just further along on the journey, with a deeper…

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Leave Knowing You Did, Rather Than Wishing You Had.

Leave Knowing You Did, Rather Than Wishing You Had.

  • January 1, 2014

‘Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.’  ‘Stuck between a rock and a hard place.’  ‘Whatever I do, it’s wrong.  I just can’t win.’ Unfortunately, this describes the underlying sentiment of many unresolved conflicts, and is often the reason why they are not addressed.  When faced with the prospect…

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Going in Circles?

Going in Circles?

  • December 15, 2013

Do some conflicts leave you feeling like a spinning top?  Hopelessly dizzy from going around and around, waiting to fall down because you’re running out of steam? You know what I’m talking about – those arguments about what appear to be “the issues” that just keep going in circles.  Who…

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No Blocking, Please.

No Blocking, Please.

  • December 1, 2013

I was icing my bruised forearms, feeling grateful.  Not because all my bones were still intact.  Okay, maybe that too.  I was grateful for the opportunity to participate in an advanced martial arts seminar with the grandmaster, a tenth degree black belt in Kenpo Karate.  I was grateful for deepening…

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Behind the Black Belt Mediation Blog

Behind the Black Belt Mediation Blog

  • November 15, 2013

My goal as a peacemaker is to help resolve conflicts the black belt way – quickly and efficiently, with respect and with the least possible amount of damage to everybody involved. No, I don’t propose you just hit the other guy. This blog looks at conflict resolution through a different…

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